As part of our celebration of the 175 years of our foundation of the Congregation of Notre Dame, we have
focused on our integrated spiritual wellbeing through the seminars arranged for our young Sisters. Some
reflection on the seminar is given below.
Facilitator: Fr. Dr. Jose Parappully, SDB
Dates: May 26 –30, 2025
The workshop on Psychosexual Integration and Celibate Maturity, conducted by Fr. Dr. Jose Parappully SDB, was held from May 26 – 30, 2025. It was attended by young seniors (under 40) and Temporary
Professed Sisters. This workshop was organized with great care and vision by Sr. Mary Chetana, to whom we express our heartfelt gratitude and appreciation. The workshop provided us with invaluable
insights into ourselves as consecrated persons navigating the complexities of modern life while remaining faithful to our vocation.
1. Becoming Aware of Our Body, Feelings, and Thoughts
The workshop led us on an inward journey to become more conscious of our bodies, emotions, and thoughts. We often overlook the sacredness of our own being. Through guided reflections and interactive discussions, we began to understand how deeply interconnected our body, mind, and spirit are. This
awareness is essential for healthy living and mature celibacy.
2. Rediscovering the Miracle of the Human Body
Fr. Jose invited us to rediscover the miracle that is the human body—not as something to be feared or repressed, but as a gift and a sacred vessel of God’s love. In the religious context, there is often an overemphasis on detachment from the body, which can lead to guilt and suppression. This
workshop corrected that view by presenting the body as a beautiful creation of God, meant to be cherished, respected, and integrated into our spiritual lives.
3. Topics that Opened Our Minds and Hearts
The various topics covered were both sensitive and essential, especially in today’s changing social and cultural landscape. These included:
» Sex and Sexuality – understanding these as natural aspects of being human, not contrary to religious
life but requiring integration.
» Intimacy – recognizing our deep need for connection and healthy emotional bonds.
» Celibacy and Chastity – living our vows with integrity, not as a denial but as a mature, life-giving choice.
» Sexual Boundary Violations – recognizing and preventing inappropriate behaviour in ourselves and others.
» Pornography – its psychological and spiritual effects, and tools to address its challenges.
Each topic encouraged us to confront both personal and communal attitudes toward sexuality and gave us tools to respond with compassion, honesty, and responsibility.
4. Building Blocks of Intimacy
We explored the foundational elements of intimacy, which are crucial for emotional and relational maturity. These include:
» Self-disclosure – the ability to share our thoughts and feelings honestly.
» Immediacy – being present and engaged in the moment.
» Authenticity – living truthfully without masks or pretensions.
» Vulnerability – the courage to be open about our struggles and needs.
» Trust – the foundation of any deep relationship.
» Empathy – understanding and sharing the feelings of others.
» Willingness to be influenced – the capacity to allow others to shape us positively.
» Partner Responsiveness – caring deeply about others' needs.
» Mutuality – relationships marked by mutual respect and reciprocity. These qualities challenge us to examine our current relationships and to discern whether they foster growth and spiritual health or inhibit them.
5. Pillars of Celibate Maturity
A key part of the workshop understood what it means to be mature in celibacy. Fr. Jose identified four
essential pillars:
» Self-knowledge – understanding our emotions, drives, wounds, and patterns. Without this, we cannot grow.
» Healthy Relationships – forming supportive, non- dependent, and enriching connections.
» Freedom from Dependencies – moving away from emotional, psychological, or behavioral dependencies that hinder maturity.
» Spiritual Integration – anchoring our celibacy in a deep relationship with God. Together, these pillars form a strong foundation for living a celibate life that is joyful, generative, and free.
6. Opening Our Inner Eyes
The workshop helped us to “open our inner eyes”—to reflect honestly on whether we are at peace with
ourselves and whether our emotional and spiritual needs are being acknowledged and cared for. It was a
powerful invitation to move beyond denial or shame and to embrace our full humanity.
7. Emotional and Sexual Well-being in Religious Life
Fr. Jose offered practical and pastoral advice on how to care for our emotional and sexual well-being as
religious. He emphasized that integration, not repression, is the path to wholeness. Key suggestions included:
» Accepting and befriending our sexuality rather than fearing or suppressing it.
» Forming deep, meaningful friendships with both men and women.
» Pursuing intimacy without hidden agendas—a love that is pure, generous, and honest.
» Healing from past sexual wounds, whether through prayer, counselling, or community support.
» Deepening our relationship with God, especially through the person of Jesus of Nazareth, who is the
model of integrated humanity.
Our vocation as religious is rooted in our relationship with Jesus. The workshop reminded us that it is not enough to follow rules—we are called to embody His values of compassion, truth, love, and integrity. Living celibate life meaningfully is possible only when it flows from a deep, living relationship with Christ.
As a special parting gift, each participant received a copy of Fr. Jose’s book, “Psycho-Spiritual Dynamics at Midlife and Beyond.” This resource will undoubtedly help us to continue our journey of integration and growth beyond the workshop.
CONCLUSION: This workshop has been a life-giving experience. It has opened up new ways of
understanding ourselves, our vocation, and our call to live as authentic, joyful, and integrated religious. We leave this experience grateful, enlightened, and inspired to continue this journey toward greater maturity in Christ.
